Day 8: Process or Product

I am back in NOLA! I have been jumping around and spending lots of time in Baton Rouge until my lease is up and my boyfriend moves away up north.

I ate food my friend left under the beautiful arches of the largest bouquet of flowers anyone has ever given me. HUGE–and the bouquet included my favorite flowers in the world–snapdragons.

My mother and I discussed our approaches to cooking for one the other day. She pointed out that I tend to do it more often–try new or elaborate recipes when I know it’s just for me. I thought about it, and I realized that I am probably willing to do this (it’s always more fun sharing food with someone) because I get excited about the process of making a thing–the steps are part of the anticipation and excitement for me.

If I’m craving something (cornichons, grilled cheese, thin crust pizza with goat cheese, gazpacho) I’d rather buy it. (Except for gazpacho–but that’s because I don’t live in an area where restaurants serve it much or well.) When I see a recipe I want to experience, the process servies to make me want to eat it–not because I’ve been craving it.

I am writing a fight scene between two girls who don’t know how to fight. Lucky for me, I have like 3 small insignificant fighting experiences, so I won’t have to fake an awkward, amateur fight. It’s like a little version of writing a book for the first time. You can start with a model, but it won’t be real and gratifying until you put yourself into it.

I started with a passage that was mostly the main character’s thoughts and feelings

then I wrote it as she remembered it

and then I re-wrote it with stuff she did in the moment and hope the important curvature of this character’s desire rings out through the fumbling.

And it is all in a jumble. At least it’s page numbered.

About alison barker