I’m an over-doer, recovering multi-tasker, unrelenting hustler, and a damn hard worker. The problem: I work myself into failure. I overcommit myself out of success. As soon as an opportunity arises, especially if I’ve worked particualary hard at getting the universe to work with me and make some magical collision of time and resource, that’s when I’m my own worst enemy. I’m learning so much about myself lately. So much of what doesn’t work for me serve me. Here’s what I’ve learned most over the past 8 months (dare I say 33 years) but especially this week:

1. I dream in technicolor and astrological size – My dad refers to this as building sky castles.

2. I can overwork myself out of a goal or success.

3. I let my hot-headedness (Cajun side) dictate conversations and decisions over my educated and rational self.

4. I tend to run solely on emotion. It is my fuel.

5. The surest way to break the cycle is to look at myself each day (or frequently throughout the day) and tell myself the following:

• I am forgiven.
• I am a caring and loving parent, partner, daughter and friend.
• I am able to share my passions with others and affect change in the world.
• I am loved beyond measure.
• All my needs are met and I have all that I need.
• I am here, now.

I am statements are powerful. There are infinite “I am” statements, and I have a little stack of daily affirmations that I printed and cut into little 2×3 rectangles that I keep on my desk and a dozen or so more I keep in the front pocket of my purse. This way I can riffle through the stack if I am particularly stuck (stubborn) at the message of the day. At one point in 2010 I was going through a particularly rough breakup and was in the midst of a deep depression (though I was great at denying it was depression at the time), and my friend Lacey made me 2 stacks of Post-It note affirmations. Each sheet of the entire 2 pads read: YOU ROCK! She wrote it in all the colors of the rainbow and occasionally added a star or squiggly, but the message stated the same and became my mantra. Another girlfriend altered the message once she saw the Post-Its everywhere and would sweetly often tell me, “YOU FUCKING ROCK!” The emphasis helped–especially on the long, dreary days when I was unclear of why I was doing anything if nothing was working.

After daily use of my new mantra and immersing myself into fitness classes and activities I was able to rise from the depression and reclaim my life. This scenario has repeated itself in my life in various forms over the past decades. And though I likely will not be immune to such intense periods in my future, I am confident in knowing that I have many tools in my belt that will be of use, and I will use the tools as often as possible because it is much easier to repair things as needed than to fully remodel and replace.

This week proved to be one of those intense times. Since embarking on the journey of Soul School, my vulnerability level skyrocketed. Brene Brown would smile at my current level of human connection. I feel like there are a million extra nerve endings added to my body since October because my sense of feeling: physical, emotional and mental, has increased exponentially. This must be what it feels like to be alive.

We have been working hard on opening Kids Yoga Lab (www.kidsyogalab.com {shameless plug}), and we really thought we considered every scenario to include in plan development. But, Kathleen’s company announced they are closing their doors. So, mid-week we discovered that her position dissolved. Just like that, over night. One part of me was so happy for her because I know she wants to do something she enjoys each day and fulfills her and contributes to the world. But another part of me was crushed and went into freakout mode and immediately created a list of all the additional things I need to do and how things will be set back, etc. Yesterday, I shared this worry and pain with her and to my surprise much of my pain, worry and freakoutness was not needed and definitely not necessary because my freakout/panic mode only hinders success.

Do what fears you. I hear this mantra in my mind often. Run to what fears you. Run to that which your heart gravitates, and you will do what you love. Be 100% authentic in your intent, development and action, and everything else will fall into place. This is the method of the universe. This is the way we shape our lives. Dwelling–fixated on the errors, pains and mishaps–only reveals to us more of the same. Stepping out and standing in gratitude completely flips the script. We drove to the studio last night to drop off some items, and when I walked in the doors my heart began to swell. Inside at my deepest self, my soul–the language that we know most dearly, the language of love–was buzzing. I raced through each room and then back through each room standing and soaking up the energy within the space. My eyes filled with tears as my heart began to fill with love, and my entire being was recharged and renewed. My truest truth was revealed. You are exactly where you need to be. All is as it should be, and the time is now.